Dear God,

Mother, father, lover of my soul, creator of all that is,

how do I name you today, this day when I am sorting through my over-full mind,

so many thoughts, a coronation weekend, jewels and crowns and words,

so many words, fascinating and repelling equally,

humility is shrouded in gold and pomp, so is it true humility?

Can you truly serve when privileged to such a great extent?

And yet, I would not want that role, that power, that weight of expectation,

my shoulders could not bear it, it is not my calling…

but I am called, and I am privileged, I am given a voice,

so how do I speak?

I can speak of service, and I hope I do serve,

I can speak of love and inclusion,

of justice and mercy…

do I act justly?

do I show mercy?

do I love and include?

I pray that I do….

+

Other things fill my mind,

reports of abuse perpetuated by those given power,

of young vulnerable minds manipulated by so called Christian leaders,

another can of worms opened within an institution where there is so much power

cloaked in gold and pomp…

+

then family things,

memories and musings on life and love and call

+

my own call,

who am I called to be?

what am I called to be?

Can I show love, mercy, grace?

+

I need a day, some time to recover,

to be with my thoughts,

and in them to find yours….

Maybe I need a secluded cell day,

Maybe I simply need to turn to a hazelnut and wonder,

and all shall be well,

and all shall be well,

and all manner of things shall be well….

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“GOD, OF YOUR GOODNESS, GIVE ME YOURSELF; YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR ME, AND ANYTHING LESS THAT I COULD ASK FOR WOULD NOT DO YOU FULL HONOUR. AND IF I ASK ANYTHING THAT IS LESS, I SHALL ALWAYS LACK SOMETHING, BUT IN YOU ALONE I HAVE EVERYTHING.”- Mother Julian of Norwich