I walked today,

through a field of memories,

collecting fragments of lost promises,

and broken dreams,

seeking out shards of hope,

searching the darkened corners,

exploring the holes

where shame still lies weeping….

these memories are of different ages,

some recent,

others older,

but all have left wounds and scars,

and I live with them,

I guess we all do,

some are griefs,

and deep laments,

avoidable, and unavoidable

they have made me who I am…

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I can only go back to visit,

there is nothing I can change

no matter how much I might long to,

each one is a death of sorts,

even the celebrations

cannot be changed or reversed,

and there are these happier pictures of course,

but it’s not them that haunt me,

not them that turn up at midnight

filling my dreams as uninvited intruders,

I cannot push them away,

or drown them out,

( believe me I have tried),

so I have decided to invite them in,

to welcome them with compassion,

to hear their cries,

I meant no harm

is a familiar refrain,

but circumstances conspired,

and the wounds and scars are real

the only way then, is to choose to heal together…