I am tired,

tired of accepting crumbs

thrown grudgingly

from a table so laden

with negativity

that I choke on them,

tired of hearing “all are welcome”,

when the welcome comes with

so many conditions,

so many hoops and hurdles

to climb over and jump through,

each one stealing

a little more of my humanity…

+

and yes I could ignore it all,

I could turn my back,

say not in my name,

but the insults still come,

cloaked in thin apologies,

asking me to understand,

to make room for those

who make no room for me…

+

again I loose a little more of my humanity…

+

it’s not your business

I am told, but it is

because I have to work with you

at some level,

because unity in the church is so important,

even my own denomination

would rather I were silent,

would not rock the boat

would not speak out…

( and we are far from full inclusion!)

+

and I loose a little more of my humanity…

+

what made you gay

I’m asked…

well I believe God did,

and God rejoices in me

with a divine exuberance

and calls me

fearfully and wonderfully made…

+

but still your gaze

strips me again

of my full humanity…

+

I don’t want your crumbs,

I will not accept them,

they choke me

with their sugar coated venom…

+

what gives you the right

to deny my full humanity…?