I had thought about creating a sitting area, of putting down stone chips and maybe creating a Japanese style garden down there, but business meant that, that didn’t happen, and I am now very glad that it didn’t. Not only are there birds feeding there, but this lot of “weeds” is attracting bees and butterflies too, so I am going to leave it, and let the weeds grow, this year and next year, and if I am still here the next year.

I am sitting and looking out over my garden, watching a flock of goldfinches ( is there a collective name for goldfinches) feeding on the seed-heads of the thistles and other assorted “weeds” I have allowed to grow at the on the plot that was cleared of leylandii trees last year.

I guess it could be laziness that has brought on this decision, but I hope that it is actually awareness, awareness of the needs of the planet, and it is my small way of enabling a small patch of wildness.

I am trying to be aware in other ways to, to use less plastic, such a difficult task, to walk more, how easy it is to hop in the car when a little planning means leaving half an hour earlier for a meeting and is better for me as well as the environment.

Mostly I am aware that I am rubbish at all of this, it is easy to over-consume when a little careful planning would make for more sustainable shopping, a bit of thinking would mean less waste, there is a zero-waste shop half a mile from my door, and yet some days it is just easier to go the the supermarket on my way home from a meeting.

I could use public transport more, but the habit of driving, and the car on my driveway brings on laziness, even when I remind myself that I could read my book on the way to Leeds, or Manchester or wherever I am going….

So I am watching the birds feeding, and pondering that I am so often driven by worry, and wondering what might happen if I let go a little, dared to be less driven, if I took time to plan rather than living reactively, which may seem more driven, but I suspect that the fruit of self-control might make it less….

I want to live more simply, but must acknowledge that I have a complex life, and it is often fear-filled, so I want to turn from being fear-full to being hope-full….

In repentance I consider the birds feeding on the weeds….