now that you have finally stopped and taken yourself to the Drs please would you allow yourself to take the rest that you are so good at talking about. I see the pile of books you have collected, but surely rather than trying to read you should be allowing yourself to sleep. Reading, well the reading you are wanting to do is work, and when you are better yu need to factor in time to do that reading, to feed your mind and soul, but right now all you can handle is chicken soup style reading, not chewy and even tough steak! So give yourself a break.
Yes you heard me, give yourself a break, curl up on the sofa, or even go back to bed, and do not, I repeat, do not beat yourself up about the things that are not getting done. There is time, there will always be time, and if you don’t believe me then take time to consider the lillies that Jesus spoke of, they “do not toil or spin he said” they simply became beautiful, and then died leaving seeds for another cycle of life. So maybe, just maybe it is time for you to do some becoming, and the first thing that you need to become is better.
You need to rest, to do that I suggest you empty yourself of all of the things you need to do, then all of the things that you think that you ought to do, now allow all of your internal accusations to settle, no matter whose voice prints they bear, and choose life, choose to nurture yourself, to sleep, to read chicken soup style books, or watch a fim that you have watched before, one that does not require concentration….
Put the kettle on, make yourself a soothing, warming drink, let go , and rest.
With all my love